Friday, November 20, 2009

Do You Think This Is The State Of The Union Speech Pres. Bush Should Have Given Last Night?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been



completed.



Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission



in Iraq is complete.



This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces



from Iraq . This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin



the reckoning.



Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which



have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short The



United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the



countries listed there.



The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's



nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of



both lists later this evening.



Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those



nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during



the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.



The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world



Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.



Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.



In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money



toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that



note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you



down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.



Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.



I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France,



Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from



NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.



I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN



diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking



tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed.



I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of



thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your



precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop



shops in the world. I love New York.



A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2 Since we are likely to



be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing



us off for a change.



Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government



need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry



divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border



security. So start doing something with your oil.



Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting



now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for



oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades



to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List



2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.



It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some



will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."



Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world



has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.



It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate



homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from



America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you



and we won't forget.



To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak



Arabic. God bless America. Thank you and good night.



Do You Think This Is The State Of The Union Speech Pres. Bush Should Have Given Last Night?microsoft net framework



very nice speech.

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