Invading son's privacy?

My son is 14 1/2 and a freshman in high school. For the most part, he stays out of behavioral trouble, but his grades are horrible. He doesn't do homework and he continues to lie about it. We've tried grounding him from everything and he only becomes angry with us, and still refuses to do his school work.

He stays in his room most of the time, but we just overlook it as being an introverted teen. He's mostly cooperative, but extremely private, and a good kid, as far as we know. He's also very bright and has always gotten good grades until a few years ago when he just got lazy in school.

We've talked to him about gifted programs, but he's not interested. He doesn't want to get a job when he grows up because he hates to work and proclaims himself to be lazy.

Would it be wrong of me to snoop through his room while he's gone and see if I can gain more insight into his world to see how I may be able to redirect him and help him, or would that make things worse?

Invading son's privacy?ie

u shld find things out... have a discussion dont turn it into screaming match... perhaps enrol him in a sport,cld give him discipline in life....

find out wat his interest are and encourage him to do smething abt it.....

maybe he is into art could enrol him into art classes...

maybe he's having troubles at sch, smeone picking on him?

get a gift for him and tell him if he has any problems at all he cld approach u'll

MOST important tell him u love him...

Invading son's privacy?microsoft internet explorer

As a parent not only is it your right, it's your duty.
Well I like to keep things to my self, but go for it, it is your house, just dont' let him find out, then all he!! will break loss, leave everything right where you found it, good luck
I think that it would make things worse. I'm in college now, and one of the things I appreciate about my mom is that she always gave me privacy when I was in high school. If you had serious suspicious that he might be doing drugs or otherwise hurting himself (cutting, suicidal) then it would be justified. However, you don't want to throw away his trust and make him angry over something like this, especially because you probably won't find anything.

Right now, your son is going through a phase where he is learning to be his own person. That means he'll value privacy and boundaries, and occasionally choose to define himself using terms and ideas (lazy) that he knows you won't like. It's going to be obnoxious while it lasts, but if he doesn't go through this phase, he won't be able to function properly and care for himself as an adult.

Try not to get too upset about this yet. You need to be firm, but show him that you respect his boundaries and value his opinions. It sounds like you've done a good job with this, showing concern about his grades (firm), and engaging in discussions about gifted programs (value opinions).

It is important that he not sabotage his high school education, because he will regret that later when he realizes that he's not so "lazy" after all. He needs to see his schoolwork as something he's choosing to do for himself, and not something he's doing for his parents, or to escape punishment.

Keep the dialogue open, and I think you'll work it out. Going through his things would probably make him angry and violate the sense of personal boundaries he's trying to build for himself. You would probably find nothing but CDs and dirty laundry.
I wouldn't snoop through his stuff, to a kid that is klind of like the onlt place that he can be alone, and have personal stuff. Don't punish him, reward him. Does he like video games? buy him a few if he does well on his reprt card. Or tell him if he shows you a good grade that he got on a quiz or a test, than reward him with something else that he likes such as video games, computer games, let him buy a ring tone on his cell phone, let him spend a night out with his friends, or anything else he may like. Rewarding him will make him do better than grounding him.
Your house, your right to snoop.
Sounds like a plan to me....he could be smokin weed and that could be the cause of the change. More than likely he is just suffering from the condition of being a teen. If that is the case DON'T ask him what is bothering him, tell him about your troubles as a teen and he may open up. And do not freak out if he tells you somthing you don't want to hear, be calm and greatful that he is opening up to you.
snoop away just put everything back the way you found it
i think you should. if you find things that most boys have.

magazines/condoms. things like that. don't talk to him

about it. if you find drugs/pipes/residue. talk to him

also. tell him he needs to go out looking for a job.

if he's not keeping his grades up he should at least

be getting a job.